Hyping Up the Homo Sapiens

If you missed the Olympic Mens 100 meter final like I did, you still probably heard about the nail-biting finish that saw Noah Lyles beat Kishane Thompson by an astoundingly slim five thousandths of a second. Lyles reached a top speed of 27.09 MPH, faster than many neighborhood speed limits.

It’s an irritating reality that a Bengal tiger, at 500 pounds, could easily out-sprint these guys, then trot over to the weight-lifting competition, and (with some tampering of the equipment to allow for feline use) out-lift the strongest titans of that sport. No, I’m not sure how the ergonomics work for a tiger trying to deadlift. My point here is that they are, as you probably know, far stronger than any human.

Of course, humans have far greater intelligence than most other members of the animal kingdom (I say “most” because I think it an insult to true intelligence to assume something I can’t readily prove). So, at least we have that going for us. However, it still hurts a bit to see the similarly-weighted deer run gracefully at 40 MPH, the sailfish swim as fast as you drive down the freeway, or the chimpanzee display strength that a human of similar weight could only dream of attaining.

It gets one wondering: what, if anything, can humans physically do that other animals cannot? Are we really doomed to be the lone species whose only physical prowess in the world comes from the machines it builds? Are our bodies not special in the animal kingdom? Well, I have good news: there actually are a few physical feats that humans might medal in, were there to be an interspecies Olympic games. There may be more, but these are three abilities I’ve thought about at length.

Without further ado, here they are…

1. Throwing

   This is an interesting one. I never thought of my ability to throw a projectile with accuracy and speed as physical prowess. It was simply a baseline requirement for having fun with friends from age 7 onwards. However, it turns out that this ability is unique to us in the animal kingdom. No animal comes close in its ability to launch an object the way we can. It isn’t just that we can pick up something with our hand and lob it over our head. Any bonobo with a bowel movement can do that. We are capable of serious physical prowess in this realm. We’re so adept at throwing things that it can be lethal. In 1920, Ray Chapman, a shortstop for the Cleveland Indians, was struck in the head by a pitch and killed. It’s a horrific and tragic story of a young man killed playing the game he loved. But, in a grim way, it also highlights just how effective humans are at throwing objects. Even chimpanzees, our most anatomically similar cousin, cannot throw with near the same effectiveness as we can. In fact, according to that article, throwing seems to be a large factor in who we are today as a species. Our ability to throw rocks, sticks, and eventually spears helped us to kill prey, as well as fend off predators. It would seem the schoolyard saying is true: sticks and stones can, indeed, break my bones… but only if thrown by a human.

2. Long-Distance Running

   Here’s a tricky one. It’s not totally unique to humans to be able to run for hours at a time. Many animals, such as horses, wolves, and pronghorn, can run quite fast for an impressive distance. The endurance running hypothesis alleges that our ability to jog for hours on end in order to chase down prey is something that sets us apart in the animal kingdom. Our ability to self-cool through sweating, coupled with slow-twitch muscles in our legs, a springy achilles tendon, and a number of other traits allow us to run vast distances before tiring, long after, say, a tiger would have gassed out chasing the same prey. However, this theory is just that: a theory. Just because we have better stamina than many animals does not mean it’s totally true. From what I’ve gathered, some of the claims of the theory still need further analysis. Here’s an actual study if you want to read more, because if I learned anything in high school English class, it’s that a Wikipedia article is not a sufficient citation. All in all, I think it’s safe to say that our ability to sustain an increased pace for long periods is a rare and exceptional ability.

3. Climbing

   This trait extends to the majority of primates, not just us humans, and I don’t mean the claw-intensive, tree trunk scaling that leopards and squirrels can do. We’re about as good at that as we are at photosynthesizing. I mean the sort of climbing that uses hands and fingers to ascend rock faces and vine-laden tree branches. Our grip strength and our spider-like hands are perfect for taking advantage of the nooks, cracks, and pockets of an imposing granite cliff face, or the natural handles found in the canopies of low-branching trees. I’ve loved rock climbing for much of my adult life, and I always found a quiet, primal satisfaction knowing I was doing something my body is specialized for. I felt so in-tune with the natural order of things. Melodramatic, perhaps, but that’s the fun in appreciating things.

So cheer up human, you’ve got a few things going for you. If you’re an able-bodied person, you can take advantage of your natural ability to do these things, and quickly join my newest idea for a fitness trend: The True Triathlon, wherein you throw a rock up and over a 100 foot cliff, climb said cliff to retrieve your rock, then run the 12-mile loop to get back to the bottom. It’s going to be so cool, as long as no one starts putting bumper stickers on their car to let everyone know they did it.