The Omnivore’s Rebuttal

Happy St. Paddy’s a day late. I hope it was whatever you wanted it to be. Fun fact: it’s proper to spell the shortened name “Paddy” but not “Patty” due to the traditionally Irish spelling of the name: Pádraig.

Moving on…

There is no greater debate in the health & wellness industry than the one about the ideal human diet. Is dairy bad? Saturated fat? Red meat? Farmed fish? Can you overeat fruit? Should I do keto? paleo? vegan? pescatarian? How much protein do I need? Where should I get it? What about fiber?

You see my point.

For a brief time in my life, I was convinced of the answer: vegan. One of my favorite arguing points was about dairy, in particular. I would repeat the question that’s essentially a mantra in the vegan world: “Cow’s milk is for calves. Why would it be good for humans?”

I believed this to be my checkmate, my royal flush, my Malcolm Butler 1-yard-line interception.

Well, in light of more evidence, I abandoned the vegan philosophy after my short stint as a believer.

That was years ago, but it wasn’t until recently that I had an epiphany about my favorite chess move. If cows’ milk is bad for humans purely based on the fact that it has a primary purpose other than feeding humans (feeding calves), then by this logic, any food can be argued to be bad for humans, so long as one simply mentions the food’s primary purpose.

“Chicken muscles are for helping a chicken move around. Why would they be good for humans to eat?”

“Spinach leaves are designed to help the the plant absorb sunlight and keep growing. Why would they be healthy?”

“Pumpkin seeds are are designed to grow into a fully-functioning plant. Why would you chew them up and eat them?”

And so on…

It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean vegans are wrong, or that any of the above example statements are wrong either. It just means that it fails as a logic to be used in this argument. Which means we have to settle for the boring answer: we just need more data.

Maybe there is a perfect human diet. Just make sure that if you find it, craft a better tagline than I did.